Here it goes...
So Christmas Eve Eve of 2011 is where I will start the story. We had a busy day of playing and just enjoying family. We went sledding which I swear was not more intense than chasing my other two around all day. So say what you will but I know my body and looking back can now say my body was just not ready for this pregnany because it was just hard the whole time. Crazy pain and no energy ever. Anyway...we got home that night from driving around looking at Christmas lights and I was thoroughly exhausted and ready to be done, but instead we built our fort and laid down to watch a movie.
At about 1a.m. Christmas Eve morning I was woke up by a "gush". I didn't think much of it since I was only 27 weeks 2 days along. And in the past the doctors have broke my water. So I went back to bed. then at 5a.m. I was woke up once again with a much larger "gush" as miss Ems moved. I went to the bathroom but nothing was happening. All I knew is that I had not peed my pants because it did not smell like urine. So I woke Dillon up and told him what was happening. He got on the computer(not me because I freak out easy) and started looking into it. That is when he said to call my doctor just to get her opinion. She didn;t think it was anything until I said what it smelled like and then she said, "Well that is suspicous". Then I panicked a little and she told me to come in and she would see what was going on. We call our sweet neighbor who agreed to come over to watch Genesee but Lij ended up coming with us. He was too panicked like me and worried about me.
So we headed to Parker and got into the room. The nurse told me to get settled and she would check the pad I was wearing to see if she could get an idea of what was going on. She came out of the bathroom and was suprised that the pad was soaked. Like a HUGE maxi pad soaked through in an hour. She told me then that more than likely my water had broke. I was like okay well I will go home and sleep it off. Silly me!! I had no idea that I couldn't leave the hospital until the baby was born. Too much risk of infection and preterm labor. So my doctor came in and told me the same news. She did an exam and I was dilated to a 3. The put me on fluids, gave me a steroid for her lungs(it gave me a gigantic charly horse in my but through my leg) and called for an ambulance to take me to another hospital. I couldn't stay there because they were only equipped for a baby 28 weeks or older and I was too high risk to wait it out for 5 more days. All I knew is that I was there until she was born and we were shooting for at least 34 weeks. That's right, a six week hospital stay.
So off to University hospital twice the distance from my home. The ride in the ambulance was cold and miserable. I was worrying my mind out, all the while I was contracting every 2 minutes. We finally made it and got to my new home away from home for a little while. I was once again examined and was told I was at a 4. Oh great!! Progress when I don't want it. They put me on magnesium. This helps stop labor and also gives protection to the babies brain if she were to be born soon. This stuff gives you the most wicked sensation of a constant hot flash but not necessarily a fever. Yuck!! That is all I can sum it up to. They also put me on some intense antibiotics and a heart monitor for the babes. The next 48 hours were critical for infection and fetal stress.
So there I lay confined to a bed for 48 hours and Christmas was less than 24 hours away. But my sweet amazing husband took charge. He went home with Lij once I was all settled and got things packed and situated and in place. Gifts delivered, laundry done, house cleaned, presents wrapped and packed, Christmas tree packed, cookies made, picked up Genesee, and headed back to me. He unloaded the car by himself and then set up a Christmas wonderland for me, because I was devastated that I was going to miss Christmas. It was perfect and crazy all at the same time.
Christmas came. It was a great time! The kids were in heaven and I got to see all the joy and excitement. Then reality set in. What are we going to do with the kids while I'm in here? What will happen to them? But of course the Lord answers every and all prayers. My sweet niece was off of college for the semester and didn't have a job yet. So we planned on shipping her out on the first of January. That gave us a week to get everything as orderly as possible so all she would have to do is watch the kiddos.
The next week was probably the hardest week of my life and probably Dillon's too. It was emotional and stressful and bitter yet sweet. I missed my family so bad but couldn't have them around for long because it was too much for my already stressed body. My family missed me and was trying to adjust to a home with no mom for a while. I was feeling guilty that I was failing my job as a mom twice. I wasn't there for my kids at home but my body was doing it for the one inside either. I feel guilt really easy and its really easy for me to take the blame. So I was eating away at myself.
New Years came and we played the Wii while the kiddos slept. Of course I woke up exhausted but happy to have my family with me. They went to church while I slept. That night Dillon went and picked up Brittney and took her home. That whole next day I was miserable and just not feeling awesome. I was starting to spot and that worried me but the nurses weren't concerned because I was contracting very often or hard. Dillon showed Brittney the ropes that whole day. I had the day to myself to try to get back feeling good.
That night I had several pretty good contractions but I didn't worry because they were so far apart. In the morning is when things got going. I went to the bathroom to find that I had bled quite a bit and I was contracting more. I called the nurse and told her I was feeling lousy and what was going on. She seemed concerned and called the doctor. She did an exam(my first in a week and a half) and said that I actually regressed and was at a 2. Then she checked again and changed her mind. I was at a 7 and she was feeling baby feet. Yes she was breech the whole time. She told me today was the day and we were going to deliver her ASAP. I called Dillon. He FLEW up to the hospital just in time to walk into the OR as they were starting the procedure.
The whole time from when I called him to when he arrived, I was in shock. I was thinking "Today? It can't be today...I'm only 28 weeks 5 days. This is too early!! I'm by myself. No one here understands." Then a sweet nurse came up to me and held my hand while they gave me a spinal. Apparently I was shaking like a leaf and looked panicked. She talked to me the whole time explaining everything and just easing my mind. The spinal was in with a couple bad shots but in. They rolled me over but the sheet thing up and I was a little calmer. Numb up through my chest but calmer. The NICU pedatrician came and talked to me and I instantly loved her. Then Dillon walked in and they started.
It only took 40 minutes from when she checked me to when my little angel arrived. She was here my Emily Marie was here. 3lbs 2oz 15inches long. She was doing fine for about 5 minutes then slowly started struggling. She was put onto oxygen and then intubated. She was taken to the NICU where they could get her setup and stable. Dillon had to stay with me but I wanted him to be with her so bad. They finished with me and rolled me over to recovery. I waited there until my spinal started to wear off. Then they were finished with the procedure to place a pic line in Emily, and I could finally go see her.
We got there and I instantly got really sick and had to go back to my room. All I can remember is thinking how little she was but beautiful. Yes she looked like a little alien but she was my alien so I LOVED her instantly.
I got to stay for 4 full days after she was born and then I got kicked out. 2 full weeks in the hospital was plenty I guess. The day I left the hospital was the day that started a whole new journey of ups and downs and bitter and sweet. But I will blog about that later.
