...I never go out to public places with Elijah!(unless it is a grocery store where I can lock him in a cart)
Ready for a long story...well don't read it if you don't want to but here we go...
So today I met up with some friends at McDonalds to have some lunch and let the kids play at the playplace. Everything was going great. Lij of course was being aggressive here and there but that is pretty typical for him. (Explanation: Lij has always been a big kid, literally from day one he was BIG. I think that he has always felt his size compared to those around him and he uses this to his "advantage". There for a while he was easing up and not being so rough but more and more lately he has been getting more aggressive. Even in nursery he can get a little out of control. Usually he starts acting like this because there is someone else that instigates or that tags along once he starts.) Well that is what happened today. There was a little boy there that he got into it with. First it started that they mixed up their cars and were fighting over just one of them. Luckily they were the exact same so that situation was easily diffused. But that started it all...Lij then took it upon himself to bully the kid. Where ever this little boy was Lij seemed to find himself and it never ended pretty. At one point I guess Lij was hitting the little boy so the other boy bit him! Then the dad took it upon himself to discipline Lij. THIS IS NEVER OKAY WITH ME FOR A COMPLETE STRANGER TO DISCIPLINE MY CHILD. If I know you its one thing but this man decided he would just scold him for me. This is when I got steamed...I walked over, picked Lij up and told the man to never discipline my child. That made him mad! And yes looking at it now I could have handled it A LOT better, but in the heat of the moment I always lose my cool. The man told me I need to be watching my child, which I was the best I could considering at times he was inside the climbing gym.
Things cooled down for a bit and then we had another instance. Once again inside the climbing gym...this time, I think what happend is the little boy took his socks off(because Lij wouldn't have taken the socks off the little boy) and was sliding down the slide with them when they hit Lij who was in front of him. Lij, Being himself, grabbed the socks and threw them on the floor. The little boy was upset and came down crying. Enter the dad walking in and turning to me telling me to watch my kid! What the crap!! How could I have stopped that situation? I said some not so nice things, probably embarrasing my friends horribly, and tried to leave it at that. Nothing else major happened.
Now for my justifying part...Lij usually doesn't do anything unless he is pushed, prodded, bugged etc. So I really think this little boy was also doing things to Lij just not as obvious or big. This situation just reinforces the feeling I have that no one wants to be around Lij because he is SO aggressive. Everyone probably thinks he is a huge brat and mean little kid when in all reality he is NOT!! He is a good little boy he is just a BOY full force. So now I feel like I need to not take Lij anywhere like this again. Which I probably won't for a really long time. I'm good with outside parks because typically he is really good at them. But indoor areas where I have less control are a no go for some time.
Then on the flip side I feel like a HORRIBLE parent. Like I am failing miserably and that anything I try just ends in defeat. Not going to lie...I burst into tears once I was by myself and having been crying here and there since. What should I do? Does anyone have any advice. I'm struggling with this so if you have something that is useful and NOT CRITICAL then please call, email or leave a message. I NEED help with this!!
4 comments:
Bree - I have had the great privilege of spending a bit of time with Elijah in the last year and I know that he is a sweet and fun loving child.
Today Jaxton and Elijah played together almost the whole time and they did not have any of the issues that Elijah and that little boy did. So right there you know that that little boy was bringing some of that situation on to himself. While I was up inside the climbing toy the little boy's sisters started tattling on Jaxton saying that Jaxton also hit their little brother. I then realized that the little boy was use to a defense team protecting him and he was definitely going to use it to his advantage. I found them so annoying.
I want you to know I know that you are not doing anything wrong as a parent. I look up to you and in so many of your parenting skills and have tried to use them with Jaxton. Elijah might be aggressive but that doesn't mean he will be that way forever. Continue to love him unconditionally and do what your doing, he is a good kid!! Also maybe Jaxton isn't as aggressive but he has his own set of issues that bring me to tears and make me feel so inadequate. Its hard to be mothers to these little spirits that have their own agenda. We can only love them!!
Bree
I can totally relate! It is so hard when you have a child that tends to be a little aggressive. Caleb for the longest time was such a bully! He would hit other kids, even babies. For the longest time I wouldnt take him anywhere, and I dreaded what he would do to the other kids in nuserey. I was even terrifed at the thought of having another child, just becuse he was so aggresive!
In Caleb's case it seemed to be a phase. He did eventually grow out of it and has learned to interact with kids better. You are doing a great job as a parent! I know how furstrating it is, but also know that he will eventually grow out of it.
I know I don't know Elijah too well, but from the times I have met him, I have seen what an adorable little kid he is. You are doing an amazing job at rasing your little family.
I think it is the age. Hayden is also a little aggressive right now. I think they will grow out of it. Maybe it just comes with that 9 lbs. birth weight:)
I don't know if this is the most effective way to write you back but here goes it...you let me have some of that cream, resinol, and I got more and typically that's been my experience too. rash gone the next day, but not the last few days. As far as fluids, she still drinks about two to three bottles of formula a day, does she need more? I'm starting to think she's allergic to oatmeal, and that's what we have every morning so we're gonna cut that out tomorrow and see if it makes any difference. Who knows tho- this mom stuff is hard. If she's not better by friday I think I'd better take her in. It doesn't seem to bother her though so basically I have no idea what I'm doing.
Also, I think it's great you stood up for Lij. He didn't start crying until that guy was yelling at him. Scared the poor little guy.
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