To make you feel like NOTHING. -James T. Hill
This quote(by my dad :) ) is the the story of my life these days. Lately I have had no energy or motivation to do anything AT ALL! I just sit around and, like normal, I feel sorry for myself and the kids that...its cold outside, someone is sick, someone is teething, I put my back out again by picking up a bin of clothes, Dillon can NEVER be home(soon to change), I didn't get enough sleep, there is just TOO much to do...and so on!
And then yesterday I got up after sleeping like crap and I decided today will be different...So off I went. I got out of bed happily, mind you, and went downstairs to start a better day than the day before. I worked my butt off and once I got started I couldn't stop. I started with the living room because that is just clutter and the easiest to deal with. But then, me not being able to focus when I'm cleaning, I slowly made my way to the kitchen that was DISGUSTING! I have always hated cleaning kitchens...I don't know why because it is really not that bad but I just have HATED it! So I did the dishes which led to wiping down all the counters and stove. In the meantime my washing machine is being noisy trying to wash all the clothes that I have been putting off for way too long. Then I went upstairs and started on the kids room, but since I needed my laudry basket for laundry, first I had to put clothes away in my room. Back to the kids room to put more clothes away, because that is the worst part about laundry for me. Went back downstairs to get Lij some lunch to find him sitting nicely and playing with some kitchen utensils. Got him food and then tried for naps...Well Miss Genesee decided it was time for some serious play and she was relentless. I almost had Lij asleep(I typically sing Primary songs til he zonks) when she peeked over the bumper in her crib and started squealing at us. We all started laughing so hard!! What a cute little stink pot she is. I gave up on my efforts and decided to let them fend for themselves. About 45 minutes later she started screaming which always means she is minutes away from a peaceful sleep and sure enough about 2 minutes later she was out cold! But that left my poor little man wide awake and ready to go. I made him stay in his room for 1 1/2 hours for quiet time and then he was a free bird. Plus that was my time to sit down for a few and do what I WANTED to do(instead I played on the iPhone). Once Lij got up we came back downstairs and put the dishes away out of the dishwasher and started on dinner...which took me forever to get done but it was yummy! Nothing like hot potato soup on a cold drizzly day! After dinner was done and somewhat cleaned up...I CUT Lij's hair. He was in need and I can't wait for when Dillon could be home to help keep him busy. So away I buzzed and got it done. I'm still learning so it doesn't look awesome but better than the little rag muffin we had before. Baths for both kids and then an early bed time because of no nap for Lij. So we read stories, read scriptures, said prayers and sang songs. I fed Genesee as I always do at night and I think she is officially trying to wean herself! SO SAD!! But I will what I have to to have a healthy happy baby. They were finally down(Lij asleep and of course little miss independent was awake and screaming) but an hour later she went to sleep. So now it is a little after 8 and I still have a few hours before Dillon comes home. I fold laundry, officially clean up dinner, finish de-cluttering the living room and then sit down to go through my mountain of papers that have been gradually accumulating on the kitchen table. Well at this point I am exhausted and really losing my drive...so I get the laundry folded but the papers will wait til tomorrow so I zone out to "Another Cinderella Story" on disney channel until I realize I still haven't bought the tickets for Time Out!! So I jump on the computer at 11:30 purchase the tickets and then realize they are being sent to my last apartment in Rexburg...PANIC!! What was I thinking doing this so late in the first place? So I finally lay down to bed at 12 am and can't fall asleep because I'm so worried about the tickets...Just so you know the crisis was averted and the nice lady over ticketing fixed it for me!
What a day huh!?!? Okay so maybe this is normal for you but for me this was AMAZING!! I felt so awesome(minus the being exhausted) and productive. Then today I got up and did it all over again. This time I didn't have as much to do but going through the stack of papers is chore enough!
So my new goal, yes another one, is to do this everyday and just plug away so that the nights are open and then my weekends are open. Then when Dillon is actually home we don't have to worry about all the silly things that I should have done throughout the week and we can just go enjoy our family!
No more doing nothing to end up feeling like nothing!!
5 comments:
o wow i needed to hear that. i totally understand the first part and need to work on the last part. wish we lived closer so we could do nothing together. keep up the hard work!!
Bree,
I think all mothers go through this. Lately I have felt the same way and have let my house slide. If someone were to randomly show up I would be totally embarrassed because my house is a disaster. I also cant stand cleaning my kitchen!!! If I am going to clean my house it is the last room in the house to get clean. I really need to work on doing more activities w/ Caleb like crafts. It seems like I come up w/ a ton of cute ideas for my Sunbeams, but then don't do the same things at home with Caleb.
But don't worry, you are not alone, and are a great mother. I think it is awesome that you have crated a goal for yourself, maybe I should do the same thing.
PS I think that is awesome you are going to Time out for Women, I have never went, but heard that it is an incredible experience.
You're doing a great job, Bree. The firs step to improving is acknowledging...you're on your way. You should give me a call...seriously. I think we're riding on the same boat.:)
208.351.5324
I'd call you, but I never saved your # in my phone.
Way to go!!! I need some of your drive and motivation!! Maybe you can mail me some? :)
wow! That sounded like a crazy-packed day! I'm jealous that you have your 7-month old on a sleep schedule. I just try to keep Jonas satisfied until he's tired. And I so wish my kids were in bed by 8/ I'm amazed at how much cleaning you were able to get done with 2 munchkins. I guess I shouldn't feel too bad- Jonas has been pretty sick lately and so he gets real clingy. Good luck with your new schedule and not having hubby home at night- Brian was gone weekend nights for a couple months there and that was tough on me!
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